My first STD was from a foam party
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
