So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize