He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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