it wasn't lemon gatorade
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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