Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
