She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
