Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize