i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I smell like Dick and happiness
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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