We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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