the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
false alarm. still invincible.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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