We won't sleep together?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
