You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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