I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
