I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
