She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
That accounts for only three of the penises
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
