im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
