you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize