I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
