You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
