If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Randomize
