Where is the hickey?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
