No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
