He is an equal opportunity slut.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
