you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize