y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
