Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Dicks are not precious.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
