so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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