Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
