what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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