No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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