Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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