You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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