I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
