i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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