I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
