Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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