when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Too much gin, very little bucket
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
