i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
