remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
