end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
