so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize