my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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