I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
