I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She bit a glass in half.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
