No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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