She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize