idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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