Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
