I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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