I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
