she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
