Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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