Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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