You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
