What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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