I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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