I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the condom got lost in my hair
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
