Ambien. No doubt about it.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
